unjolras:

my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me

jesuschristvevo:

tits-clits-and-tayl0rswift:

jesuschristvevo:

are u printed on a popsicle stick? bc ur a joke

image

can’t handle these.

your url is making me nervous

a-kov:

greenandsilvermarshmallow:

snazzyisclassy:

snazzyisclassy:

hot things to say during sex:

  • have u accepted my dick as ur lord and saviour
  • fiR E I N THE H O LE
  • gotta g o fa s t
  • u put the edible in incredible
  • o l é
  • u get a little angry when ur hungry
  • neigh
  • PON PON WEI WEI WEI
  • inserting tab A into slot B
  • peekaboo let’s peek at u
  • wow that s kind of
  • yiPPE KE YAY
  • cha cha real smooth

I lost it at the last one

have you accepted my dick as your lord and savior

lyndez:

engelen:

This is my classical animation film. It’s about a guy who has to get out of the shower multiple times to answer the phone. Basically, I said “if I’m going to have to draw the same thing every day for the next 4 months, I might as well make it something I want to draw.” Hence all the muscles and stuff. Hope you like it (please share it if you do).

ohmygod

neildegrassetyson:

neildegrassetyson:

So I’m hosting a Chinese exchange student for the year, and she came in last night at midnight, so I was asleep (trying to get back on a regular sleep schedule, you know?), and this morning she gave me a gift.

  • It’s a mug
  • When you put hot liquid in it
  • It changes from solid black
  • To
  • Pictures
  • Of
  • My
  • Face

image

freebiglurch:

luv it when U call me big pasta

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”

Greg Behrendt (via feellng)

naative:

Religious people came to my friends door and gave her this pamphlet but they got the texts wrong so apparently jesus has no time for you

#AH